Father’s Day 2015

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45 years ago a little girl was told by her adoptive father that he hated the sound of her laugh and to never laugh in front of him again. At the time it felt like something inside of her died and she became hollow. How could she stop such an instinctive expression of happiness, like laughter? Already fearful of this man who used his thick leather belt and college jock strength to discipline her, it was these words that dealt the most painful, devastating wound to her body and soul. She tried to not laugh in front of him, but she couldn’t suppress such a normal physical reaction that was so natural for her. 50 years later, this once little girl, now a middle aged woman, cannot keep laughter from coming out from her body and soul. No evil words can or will ever imprison the genuine, spontaneous laughter from her 5 year old heart. When someone tries to destroy something inside of you that is organic and pure like your laugh, that person, no matter the relationship, doesn’t deserve your love. To those of us who endure Father’s Day, I lovingly wrap my arms around you and hope you find some joy in the day for yourself, whatever it is…and most importantly…laugh.

“What is this precious love and laughter budding in our hearts? It is the glorious sound of a soul waking up!” — Hafiz. “

“Laughter is the language of the soul” –Pablo Neruda.”

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5 thoughts on “Father’s Day 2015

  1. I’m so sorry you went through that. The only thing I hate more than Father’s Day is Father’s Day cards. Salt in the wound. When I was 10, my dad told me on Easter Sunday to “go bury myself.” Even at such a young age, I knew what that meant and I knew he’d be happier with me dead.
    Anyway, hugs.

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  2. (((Hugs))). I find these wounds so hard to heal. My adoptive father worked at home and I always had to be quiet. A call down the stairs “Hi Dad!” when I got home from school could be met with a screamed “What the hell is going on here?” Except when he didn’t want me quiet, then I got anger for not relating enough with him. So I can relate a bit to your not being allowed to laugh. 😦

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  3. My Adopted mom told me to play the quiet game. I believe it is an energy that tries to silence our voice. Which need to be loud. So that we can stop this madness called adoption. And we need warriors. I don’t know that your not a real good warrior. Blessing to you the thing they wished to silence is the voice In Their head that we reminded them of. Which is this is wrong we should be with our families. And it hurts us all.

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